letting go

i find it remarkable that we can all be faced with the same circumstances yet make absolutely different choices. sometimes the right thing to do can be so clear to one person, but completely concealed to another. our hearts, minds, experiences, values and fears mould and shape the way we make those choices. i have been facing many precious young people lately who have had to make some of the most difficult choices they will ever find themselves making. some of them amaze and inspire me, but others break my heart. my heart is broken for those who are driven by hopelessness and despair, whose lives have just been robbed of all joy, hope and future, and they now only look forward to getting by a day at a time. i plead with God to change their hearts and minds, but God says it is a choice they must make. i say to Him, but surely nothing is impossible with you - you can change their minds! but He says, if He does not allow choices, He will not be loving. in response, i said, but God, if You would only do that, there will be no more suicides, abortions, drug abuse, hatred and war... and He said... exactly... and i cried. because i know those were not God's choices, but ours. He is always loving, always kind, always good, but we are not.

im standing with these young people at the crossroads of their lives. i can only pray, advise, support and love them, no matter what choices they make. i wish i could change their minds, but i realise the powers of my persuasion are so limited. letting go is truly hard. my heart aches for those who choose the way of fear and hopelessness. but im reminded of the times i made those frightful decisions out of fear and ignorance, and how God is still able, still willing and still good... He is still good. it's so hard to see that right now when all i want to see is just a miracle. a miracle. a miracle.

God, i love you. i don't always understand why things happen the way they do. i will do my best with what i have, and what i know of You. You are good.

So take me to the mountain
I will follow where You lead
There I’ll lay the body
Of the boy You gave to me
And even though You take him
Still I ever will obey
But Maker of this mountain, please
Make another way